


Unbreakable Kiss

by beyourhero



Series: Type of Kisses: a Lawlight series [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Yotsuba Arc, tw for suicide in the alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-21 21:45:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12466580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyourhero/pseuds/beyourhero
Summary: Unbreakable Kiss - The type of kiss that really shouldn’t be happening, it’s a mistake, but you just can’t find yourself able to pull away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all, I’m here with a new mini series “Type of kisses”, inspired by a list on Tumblr. This time, I decided to go with Lawlight because they’re a guilty pleasure of mine.   
> This series is an AU that I hope you guys like. Disclaimer, it’s my first time writing for this fandom, and for a m/m couple, so yeah, I hope you guys enjoy.  
> If you have a prompt for a drabble, shot me an ask @miitzwrites on Tumblr.  
> As always, english isn’t my first language, and this piece was unbeta’ed.  
> Comments are more than welcome!  
> Enjoy!

In the end, both of them were defeated.

The APN closed the investigation, blaming Kyosuke Higuchi for the deaths committed by Kira. The shinigamis and the deadly notebook seemed something out from a nightmare, but they were real. The team wouldn’t be able to forget the horrible face of a shinigami named Rem, nor the shook that it caused them to find out how Kira killed. But it was over now. At least, a couple of days later after the imprisonment of Higuchi, the task force had a good reason to celebrate.

Except for L and Light.

For the world outside, they were the perfect team of investigators. Some would say they were rivals, most would agree that they were friends. What people didn’t know was that something deeper transpired between them.

During the time that Light gave up the ownership of the Death Note, his good nature come out. His pure desire to make justice appealed L, to the point of questioning more than once if this young man, with a brilliant future and an impressive intellect, could really be a cold hearted serial killer.

But also, during that brief time, they got closer.

The touches started by accident. The chain that connected them together, didn’t allow much movement. They would bump into each other or skim their fingers on the other’s skin to reach out for something. Then, they started fighting constantly. Although Light was impulsive, L was agile, and when Light tried to press him down, L would always have the upper hand.

And then, the softer caress began.

At nights, when neither one could sleep, a wandering hand would set on the other’s, like a reassuring reminder that they weren’t alone. Some nights, out of curiosity, Light would run his fingers through L’s hair, noticing its softness, and the sleepy man would make a pleased sound. And some other nights, the slightly older detective would touch Light’s jaw, just because he could, and because it felt different under his fingertips, compared to when he punched Light there with a fist.

And then, after a particularly nasty fight, they kissed for the first time.

Their lips collided against each other, fighting for dominance, as they always did. L’s slim hands traveled up and down Light’s side, setting down on his hips. Light, on his part, kept a bruising grip on the back of L’s neck, while his other hand tried to pull his shirt off.

From the beginning, they were aware that having an affair, for a lack of a better word, wasn’t their most rational decision, but as Light pushed into L, savoring the feeling of being connected for the first time, all rational mind flied out of the window.

Their bodies were a sweaty mess when they both climaxed. Light rested his head on L’s shoulder, sleep calling him quickly. And once again, L was left alone with his thoughts. As he played with Light’s hair, he prayed to any god that might hear him, to let him enjoy this moment. “Please, don’t let him be Kira.”

The days passed in a blur. They kept fighting, arguing as they always did, but they also kept having sex, kept kissing each other senseless. And before either Light or L could see it, they kept falling for each other. And hard.

But, as the saying goes, the higher you go the harder you fall.

And then, that dreadful night came.

The team retrieved the notebook from Higuchi and sent it to the lab for analysis. Light remained in silence for the rest of the way back to the headquarters. L eyed him, suspiciously. He got Kira, he got the weapon, but he didn’t get the motives, and Light looked almost pale. There was something going on, and he needed answers, that deep inside, knew he wouldn’t like.

Once they were alone, L was the first to talk.

“What’s on your mind?” L asked from the threshold of their shared bedroom. He observed Light for a long moment. Light kept his eyes glued to the floor, and only managed to get out a weak ‘I’m sorry’ from his lips.

L was afraid of unveiling a truth that he much rather hide. But he couldn’t. He moved to stand in front of Light, and with care, he tipped Light’s chin with his finger. Light wore his usual unexpressive mask, but his eyes told more than what L wanted to know.

“Tell me it isn’t real. Tell me that my suspicions about you are unfounded. Tell me that you’re not him, and we’ll forget about it for as long as we live.” L’s voice sounded strange to his own ears. Was he begging? Did the great investigator try to fool himself again? A voice inside his head told him to stop this nonsense, and he did.

He turned around and moved to the window to try to collect his feelings and thoughts. Disappointment, betrayal, hurt were unknown to him, and in that very moment, he could feel everything pile up in his chest.

"Are you going to turn me in?" came the soft voice of Light Yagami, who hadn't moved from where he was standing. Then, something clicked inside the investigator's head. He straightened his posture, and turned to look at Light. "Is that what worries you?" The accusation in his voice didn't go unnoticed by Light, but he didn't answer.

L felt something cracking within himself, and for the first time in years, a knot in his throat made it impossible for him to keep speaking. He needed time to understand the wave of emotions that threatened to drown him. Without a word, he left the room. Light didn't try to stop him, and for a while, he could only stare at the spot that L had occupied just a moments ago.

\-----  
Two days passed since the task force captured the fake Kira.

Light could breath normally. He had realized that L had no intention of turning him in, which was a relief. But they hadn't spoken since that night, and that made him nervous. He was aware that more questions would have to be answered, but knowing how unpredictable L was, he had no idea of when to expect them.

"Yeah, I heard he's leaving tonight. I even offered to move the celebration party to his room, but he refused," Matsuda happily chatted with Aizawa, unaware of Light's presence. "What did you say, Matsuda?" Asked Light, interrupting their conversation, "Ryuzaki won't be coming tonight, Light. He said something about his flight and leaving tonight, you know, another case or something like that."

Light felt the color draining from his face in that instant, and without a second thought, he left the main office, practically running to the elevator to reach the floor where his and L's bedroom was.

He stormed into the room a little breathless, and found L staring out of the window, with a thumb in between his lips, thinking.

"You can't leave, L," Light said, brushing the fangs off his eyes. "You aren't done here."

"And why is that, Light? The case is closed, so my work here is done. Whether the right person will be put into jail or not, that's not my decision to make."

Light cringed internally at the implication of L’s words, but he said nothing. "But we need to talk. There's still some things you need to know."

"You can talk to one of the other members of the task force, as for me, I've had enough of this place."

His patience was wearing thin, and in a desperate attempt to have L listen to his reasons, Light strode towards him, and grabbed his arm to force L to turn around and face him. L's black eyes seemed empty, like simple black orbs that could shallow him at any moment. L was, most of the time, expressionless, but right now, he just looked hollow.

"Why, Light? Why did you do it?" L questioned Light, and his cold voice sent shivers to Light's spine. Reluctant to even confess his sins, Light shook his head, avoiding his question. "That doesn't matter now, L, you just need to know that I.-"

"That you what, Light? That you used me to get what you wanted? Is that so?" L cut him off, and Light frantically shook his head again. "I'm sorry, L, but what happened between us wasn't originally in my plans. If it helps, I never lied to you when we were together."

L wanted to laugh at that, but he just tilted his head, frowning. “Is this another white lie that you tell people not to hurt their feelings?”

“No! L, when I said that I liked you and your company, I meant it. But I also thought if I got rid of you, no one would interfere again, and I could create an utopia where no crime were tolerated.” Light confessed, and in an strange way, that act alone felt liberating.

L listened silently, and let out a heavy sigh. He wasn’t good with feelings, he never had to confront them, nor to explain what happened inside his mind and heart, but right then, he felt lost.

“L, you also need to know that, in the process, I think I developed feelings for you.”

“And yet, you still are going to kill me, aren’t you?” More than a question, L’s words were a confirmation that wasn’t refused by Light. L took another look around and headed to the door, but was stopped by Light, who grabbed his arm tightly. “Please, don’t leave me.” It was a desperate attempt, and Light hated how fragile he sounded. ‘I don’t have to beg you,’ he thought, “I’m a god, am I not?’

L, then, met Light' eyes. Light softly spoke, "I wish I had met you under different circumstances." He didn't let go of his arm, instead, Light closed the distance between them.

In his mind, L recited over and over again why this was wrong, but didn't stop Light. He did the exact opposite of what his mind told him to do. He kissed Light back.

Their lips molded perfectly into each other, as a practiced dance that they knew by memory. Light grabbed the back of L's neck, pressing his body against the other man. Without breaking the kiss, L cornered him into the nearest wall, as his hands roamed freely down Light's torso. 'This is right,' Light thought as L poured everything he had into the kiss. L was certain that this would be the last time he would have to enjoy this moment, so he savoured it, saving the memory of Light's lips for the upcoming lonely nights. Light, on his part, wanted to believe that this would be enough to convice L to stay. But he should know better than that.

L broke the kiss, and rested his forehead against the other detective. Then, he murmured something that Light couldn't understand. "I said 'L. Lawliet', that's my name. Do as you please with it."

Light stared dumfounded at L. He finally got his name, yes, but this wasn't how he wanted to find out. L moved away, returning to his usual blank expression and odd demeanour.

"Goodbye, Kira."

Without sparing another glance at Light, he abandoned the room.

Light remained still until he felt something wet run down his cheeks. He wasn't crying, was he? The god of the new world couldn't be bothered by such mundane things, and yet, the man who had just walked out his life, stole something from him, that he knew he would never get back.

Yes, L discovered the real identity of Kira.

Yes, Light finally had the real name of the mysterious detective L.

But in the end, neither of them get what they really wanted.

 


	2. Unbreakable Kiss: Alternative ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hello L. By the time you watch this video, I’ll be dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all! I’m here with an alternative ending as suggested by FanFixion01 on AO3.  
> I have an story planned, so this piece won’t be linked to future chapters, but hey, this idea was too good to be ignored, right?  
> I hope the characters aren’t too OOC. I tried to be as honest as I could with them and with my personal interpretation and headcanons of them. I hope to mold their characterization better as the main story progresses.
> 
> As always, this story is unbeta’ed and English isn’t my first language.
> 
> Comments and kudos are the lifeblood of any writer n.n  
> Find me on tumblr as miitzwrites and send me prompts if you wanna!
> 
> Enjoy!

Watari entered into L's office, bringing a package with him. A few days before, he got a call from Soichiro Yagami, urging him to give him an address to contact L. Apparently, a missing information regarding the Kira's case had been discovered, and it was extremely important that L had it.

“Poor man,” Watari said to himself, knowing full well that the killer lived under Soichiro's roof. Since L had instructed him to avoid any contact with the Chief Yagami for the time being, Watari opened the package himself, and found a video tape, along with a note that read:

“L: I can't blame you for what happened, after all, you didn't write his name on the notebook. Chief Yagami “

Intrigued by the short note, Watari pulled out the video tape, and played it.

Ooooo

Watari kept his eyes glued to the monitor when the video finished. For L's sake, he was about to put the contents of the package away. “What’s that?” L said, taking a bite of the chocolate cake that Watari had baked for him a couple of hours ago. “Oh, it’s nothing important to your current case,” Watari wasn’t good at lying, and his face gave away that something wasn’t quite right.

L approached the monitor, frowning when he identified the handwriting of Chief Yagami in the package. “I told you, unless it is for a new case, I'm not interested on keeping on contact with them.”

“It's more than that, L. It's probably necessary for you to watch this tape ” Watari regretfully said, and stood up to leave the office.

L nodded, and took a seat in his unusual way. He read the note that the Chief Yagami had sent. Something was off, he could tell, and putting his thumb in between his lips, he pressed the play button. The images started rolling, and was greeted by an old, and yet familiar face. Light Yagami stared directly at him -at the camera-, and L wanted to turn the damn video off, and forget that it existed, but deep inside, he missed that face, so he let the video continue playing.

“Hello L. By the time you watch this video, I’ll be dead.”

‘What kind of joke is this?’ L wondered to himself, sure that Light had lost what was left of his sanity. Was that a secondary effect of the Death Note?

“I’ve left a series of instructions, leaving two more video tapes. One for Sayu and mom, one for my father, and finally, one for you, L.” The voice of Light flowed through the office, and momentarily, L closed his eyes, letting himself feel once more, the goosebumps that such a sweet voice caused. “I cannot tell you something that you don’t know already. You, the top three detectives in the world, deduced my identity when everyone else thought you were insane. And for once, I’ll give you this satisfaction, L. Yes, I am Kira.”

L leaned closer the monitor, trying to figure out what kind of game was Light playing. “No, L, I’m not playing with you, if that’s what you’re thinking. This time, I’m trying to be as honest as possible.”

The Light in the monitor leaned back against the pillows of a bed that L recognized immediately. He had recorded the video in the same bedroom that they shared for many nights. L blinked, then he noticed the black notebook that Light was holding. Silently, Light opened the notebook. And showed what he had written in one of the pages: ‘Light Yagami. Dies of a heart attack after recording three different tapes, confessing.’

“As you can read, L, I’m not specifying what I am confessing. So I will tell you. The first video tape, I confessed my mom and sister that their perfect son and brother wasn’t as perfect after all. I confessed to them that I’m in love with a man, and then, asked them for forgiveness. The second video tape is for my dad. I confessed how I became Kira, how I used the Death Note, and what you represented in my life. I hope he can understand why I did this. After all, I just wanted to follow his example, and bring justice to those who had to suffer in this rotten world.”

Without breaking the eye contact with the video, L dialed the Chief Yagami's number, but a record machine answered his call. He didn't leave a message, and focused his attention on the next part of the video.

“And while I don't doubt that dad will watch this video, this words are only for you, L. I confess firstly that I've wanted to kill you since you first challenged me, using Lind L. Tailor as a decoy. Then, when you came to me as Hideki Ryuga, I wanted to kill you, because you were an arrogant fool who could face me without suffering. And when I momentarily lost my memories, I wanted to strangle you in your sleep with that damn chain, because you kept insisting that I was Kira. And you know what's the worst part? That I was certain that, if I turned out to be him, you would never want to be with me.”

During their time together, either by choice or by obligation, L learned the different masks that Light wore around others, two being the most prominent. When he was around people, his eyes would narrow a little bit, his jaw would be tense, but only a real observant would notice it, and his lips would be permanently drew into something like a smile. His expressions were too studied, exactly what people expected from him. But in private, he would show more of himself, his eyes would reflect exactly what he felt, and his lips would express things that weren’t always all that sweet.

This Light, however, was new for L.

His eyes were glassy and red, and dark circles rested beneath them. His face wasn’t the careful mask that he had tailored over the years, on the contrary, the raw emotions were there.

“… and you’re gone L, but you gave me your name. And even now, in this very instant, I still want to kill you,” the Light in the video showed his notebook again, and L saw his name written over different pages, but Light only managed to write the first letters of his last name. “But I can do it, L! I can’t write your fucking name down because I love you. So I decided to write down mine instead.”

L brought up his knees to his chest, biting absently his thumb as the images progressed. He felt a burning sensation behind his eyes, so he took a shuddering breath and continued watching.

“But you gave up on me, L, didn't you? Since you know the truth, I'm sure you must despise me, and I don't blame you, I'd despise myself as well.

L, you're a worthy adversary, but this game has to stop, eventually, and it is a shame. I know you would never join me, but I've dreamt about us, together, you would be my king, and me the god of this new world. You're the only person who deserves my admiration, L, and the only man who will always hold my heart.”

He was talking like a madman, but his words struck something in L that he thought he had forgotten.

“… and I hate boredom, L. What am I supposed to do now that my only equal has quitted this game? So, this is my farewell, L.” The Light in the video rested his head on the headboard, and his eyes fluttered closed. His chest heaved, and he managed to say in a raspy voice “I trust I will see you again.” A smile crept into his face, and then a grimace of pain appeared. Light held tightly on a white cloth that L identified as one of the shirts that he left in that bedroom. Another ragged breath, and then he stopped.

Light died in front of his eyes and there was nothing L could do.

His blood ran cold, and in the confines of his office, L allowed himself to feel. A tear fell down, and then another, and he couldn't stop them. His whole body was shaking as sob after sob wrecked through his body. The only person who he could ever feel something remotely similar to love, was gone, and there was nothing the world's greatest detective could do.

He felt alone.

Watari entered some minutes later, carrying a blanket and a hot mug of chocolate. He placed the mug on the desk, and with the blanket, he wrapped L's shaking shoulders, hoping to offer enough comfort.

“I'm sorry, Wammy.” L apologized, using Watari’s real name. The old man remembered then the young child who would cry at night when he first brought him to the Wammy's House, and then the young man, who had seen too much evil to deal with it alone. “You don't need to apologize, L, you're a human being after all.”

But L shook his head, his messy hair bouncing in time with his negation. “I'm sorry because I responded to his feelings, Wammy. When I started this job, I promised I'd be justice itself. And yet, I fell for the most prolific serial killer. I allowed him to be free. I failed what L represents. I failed you.”

Just like Light had done, L used two masks, too. The first one, being the detective one. The mask that only a few people know. And then, there was his second mask. And it wasn't a real mask, it was the face of a man, and only Watari had seen him unmasked.

Well, Watari and Light, but just small glimpses of the man underneath.

“You didn't fail me, L,” the man answered, silencing L with a hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. “You didn't fall for the killer, L, I saw it. You got closer to this young man when he was chained to you. And during that time, you could see the real Light Yagami. His intellect matched yours. Sadly, it was bound to happen.”

L sniffed, and wasn't all convinced with Watari's words. “But it is my fault, isn't it?” He argued, and Watari only sighed, shaking again his head. “It's Kira's fault. Not yours.”

Another tear rolled down L's pale cheeks, and weakly, he nodded. “Cherish the time you spent with Light Yagami. Grief his memory, but keep going on. You know that's what he would have liked.”

“I'm going to take a nap.” L announced, as he stood up, still in his usual crouched position. “Please, call Chief Yagami, give him my condolences, and inform me what is his decision regarding the case.” L paused, then he added “and send my condolences to his family as well. A bouquet of white roses should be appropriate. Sign it as Ryuzaki.”

Watari nodded, and L finally said, “ And Watari…thank you.”

L’s mentor did as he was told, and L retired to his bedroom. He pulled out a red tie that belonged to Light, and that he had borrowed before leaving Japan, and hugged it to his chest as he moved to the bed.

Sleep didn’t come easy for him, and his dreams where plagued with red and black, and the laugh of a winged Shinigami who was mocking him. 


End file.
